Hi everyone =)

The thing is this: I met this guy about 6 months ago, he is not my type of guy, i didnt even liked him at first, 'cause he is chubby and short. But, he has this great personality, and i was happy to be his friend, that was all i wanted from him, his friendship! we spend a lot of time together, every weekend we played videogames or watched movies, or anything... he was the one i called when i was feeling sad... or just bored, and he always texted me silly things all day long... we were happy, we were friends... i tought he was my best friend... But, as expected, he fell in love with me, and at that time i was in love with someone else (whom, btw, never cared about me... ) Anyway, he fell in love, and i rejected him 3 times, and he cried a lot, he was heartbroken... it made me feel so bad, but all i wanted was to be friends... but one night i crossed the line: i lured him to have sex with me, and he was a virgin (he is 29 yo)... i think i did it because i like inexperienced guys, they're cute and fun to watch (not that i have had many of them). But for him, that night was "special", obviously... So he asked me one more time and i rejected him again...so, the time came when he decided to forget about me, and he stoped calling me or anything... then, holidays came, and i missed him so bad, that i decided to give him a chance, we were best friends after all, he "loved me and cared about me", he even composed a song for me! and none had ever done that for me... and i tough it will be good because he was so madly in love with me, so i talked to him about us having a relationship (his big dream, or so i tought) he was so happy his heart almost came out of his chest, literally! and, i was good with that. He even introduced me with his best friends, his mother... he changed his facebook status (wich i allowed him to do, even if i didnt want it)

I played the good girlfriend, i did all i could to make him feel loved, i was a little ashamed thou, but the more i knew him, the less cared about the superficial stuff (chubbiness...). And we were ok for about 2 weeks, but then... here comes the strangest thing ever. He said to me that he wanted to end the relationship because he wasn't sure about me, he didn't know if he was with me because of the feelings or because of the lonelyness (his last relationship was 8 years ago), and besides we had sex before the right time (wtf!! he enjoyed it! i can tell!) and that was wrong...(he thought of becoming a priest once) also, he had this bad feeling about me (!!!!),  that i was not THE ONE, he said that when he has a girlfriend will be to think about marriage... and he couldnt imagine a future with me... so he freaked out and decided to end things between us

And i just dont understand why he insisted so much!!!, so many months, why he cried and cried for me, 'cause i didnt want to have a relationship, and when he finally convinced me, he told me this stupid things!!! about me not being the right one and stuff.... he knew me, he knew who i was, the things i have lived, my personality, everything! i didnt change a bit, a bit!

He saw something in me that he liked to be his girlfriend, or he wouldn't have insisted so much

Well, now he dont want to talk to me, he dont call me or text me, or care about me... =(. I went to see him twice, asked him for a second chance, asked him to be friends (i would be happy with just that). But he said he can't be my friend... and i miss him so so bad!! i dont know what to do!! he keeps saying that what we had was too intense for him... but at the same time he is running away from me, why??? =(

I went for the "good guy", the one who "is not handsome but loves me" and give up the "hot guy who dont care about me", and this is the result! i feel also angry, cause i didnt want this in first place! he wanted it! he insisted! and now i think i'm in love or something... i cant stop crying...

should i insist or let things go??

P.S. i am a foreigner in the city i live, so i dont have many friends... and he is from my circle of friends =/

P.P.S. sorry for my bad english, i tried hard to explain my situation... Thanks.

Oh girl, I have  been there too. I went for "the not so good looking, good guy" once & he broke my heart too. It's not fair, but for whatever reason, he fell out of love. And it hurts your ego & your self esteem because you feel like - "If he didn't love me for me, then nobody will" But that's not true. I think he fell for you because he didn't think he could get you. I know that sounds strange, but some guys really like the intangible stuff. And then when you finally gave in, he ran away. Why? Because he had you.  It's horrible. But it sounds like he's confused about his life in general & really doesn't know how to handle being with a girlfriend. Sounds like you would do  better with someone more experienced & better grounded about what he wants.

I am really sorry this happened to you, but try not to take it personally. The guy is clearly confused. I think you need to just be very distant to him for some time & see if he will figure out what he wants when he knows that you're not available to him - as a friend, or as a lover.  I have a feeling that if you cut him off & are only cordial to him (meaning, polite, but not friendly), he will figure out very fast whether he wants you as his girlfriend or just as a friend.

Either way, you are better off with someone more experienced & able to handle a RELATIONSHIP. But if, after you ignore him for some weeks, he calls you & wants to be together, I wouldn't blame you for trying.

MJ

thank you for your answer =)

well... then i guess i have to move on... it is a bit hard, but not impossible to get over him... i just miss my friend =(

he is a tough guy and his pride wont allow him to show any weakness in front of me... but is his loss ;). Last night i went to a friends birthday party, and he was there too... i was wearing a miniskirt and heels, and i felt reaaaally good because all my friends told me how specially hot i looked (i usually wear comfy clothes), and one friend also told me that he felt remorseful about dumping me, because i looked sooo good  =)