I broke up with my fiance of 4 years and 10 months on November 30th. I broke up with her because the relationship had gotten stale and it didnt feel like a relationship worth getting married into at the time. I had gotten very selfish and only thought of myself and wasnt the person she would have wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But I always treated her very well and loved her unconditionally. I didnt consider her my #1 priority anymore. Keep in mind I love her to death and had no intent on getting rid of her for good. I broke up with her telling her I do believe we are meant to be together and I love her. I just need to figure out what I want. I absolutely want to be with her I just want to take some time apart and have a true fresh start. The next day it didnt even feel like we broke up and we continued on like normal until she finished slowly packing up her things and was gone. Thats when it completely hit me that I cant lose her. But I had to really be strong and decide what I wanted to do with my life. We ended very good and still talked and texted often but not a lot and several times we both said we loved each other and wanted each other.

I saw her a few times picking up a few things she forgot and once at Christmas. On the 28th I saw her again at my apartment and we cuddled for the first time. I had decided at this point what I wanted and that was her and holding her felt so good and right. I contacted her on the 1st so I could  talk about getting back together. The last time I saw her thats all she wanted and balled her eyes out when we cuddled. I told her I regret breaking up with her and doing this to us but I had changed a lot and was ready to be the person she would want to marry and start a family with like we wanted for years. I didnt expect to be completely regected and told not to talk to her anymore!!! This came out of no where and it hurt like crazy. She had started hanging out with her coworkers on the 29th and they fed her a bunch of crap and right then and there getting drunk every night was more fun and important than me and she didnt want to get back together ever again. So after 5 years of a very loving relationship that was the last thing I wanted to hear after thats all she wanted the other day!!!! Well I talked to her a few times trying to get answers and never got any. She didnt want a thing to do with me anymore and didnt want any form of contact anymore. She said she needed time to figure out what she wanted. Ok? I thought you wanted us the other day but mmmk.

So on the 4th I was officially no contact. Well she got a tattoo she had always wanted and I texted her exactly a week later telling her how happy I was that she got something she had always wanted and it looked great. A few days later she texted me back saying that she still doesnt want to have any form of contact but thanks about the tattoo, Im very happy with it. I went ahead and texted her back anyway telling her that I was happy for her that shes having a good time with her friends and that being a strong independent person was a good thing because thats something the both of us never were. Later that night I get a text back asking about a bill I needed to pay. From there we had a decent conversation that wasnt about the break up and she didnt say she didnt want no contact again. She even said talk to you later and goodnight and drive safe. It was snowing that night. So I am paying for it now but I assumed that there was a small window to carefully talk to her. I texted her the next day saying how nice it was to talk to her casually and wanted to know if thats something she'd be interested in doing again. Well she texted back telling me NO that she doesnt want to talk at all. 2 days later I messaged her a long letter that she didnt have to reply to her spilling my guts out to her telling her my story from the break up till that moment and what I had wanted and how I felt about her. It brought a tear to my eye every time I read it and figured it could do the same to her, who knows? Never heard from her.

At this point I was keeping up to date on what shes up to on facebook. Still out drinking with her coworkers nearly every night. This was getting stupid. For someone who hated drinking this is getting really stupid. So for the first time I went out with my coworkers and was drinking with them. Made sure it was on my facebook too just like her. Well Well Well the next day I get an angry text about it! So I figured this is as good of a time as any I asked her why she didnt want to be together or talk anymore. This was on the 20th by the way. She told me there was no way she'd get back together with me and she is the happiest shes ever been in her life. I killed her emotionally with the break up and shes doing the exact same thing to me now in return. She had ZERO intent to get back together when she told me she'd think about it and the time apart confirmed that thats the last thing she wants. I know shes getting a lot of advice from these coworkers, they are also turning her into an alcoholic too. Anyway back to ZERO contact again but this time she blocked me on facebook too.

Im completely lost as to what is going on in this girls head. She has been so devoted to this relationship and the first time she hangs out with an alcoholic coworker Im nothing but a memory to her and the love isnt "in love" anymore. I cant figure out what happened or what to do from here. I absolutely love her and want to make this relationship work just like she wanted not that long ago. I just dont know how to save this. Please help!!!!!

So here's an update on my situation. January 28th was the 5 year anniversary. It was a VERY painful day. That afternoon when she got home after work she unblocked me on facebook. Didnt friend me just unblocked. Thats it. Later that night I sent her a text just saying I miss her and today was  a really hard day. I saw that she made a facebook post of just al;sdjkfa;klsdjf;jkla and that was it. I know she was having a tough day too. Didnt get a response and still no contact. I love her a lot but to keep putting up with this crap after hearing how much she loved me for 5 years is getting very frustrating and making me mad.

I thought you had agreed to leave  her alone? She has asked you to several times. I think it stinks that you realized  you lost someone great, but when a person tells you she does not want you to contact her, you should probably respect that, don't you think? Give it another month, then send one more email to let her know how you feel. But if she still doesn't want you in her life, then you have to let her go. Be careful.

See but she's really weird about it. She will have a conversation with me then the next day say she doesn't want to talk to me. But then will talk to me! She always ends every conversation nicely and always says goodnight and talk to you later. I haven't tried pushing it hard though this entire month.

Yeah. I'd still say to give it a rest. Give her some time to miss you. But remember that if someone says they don't want to speak with you, you should respect that. I got a little nervous because you said you were getting "angry." She's probably just a nice person and feels badly being mean to you. But, just remember, if she says she doesn't want to be with you, she may never change her mind. And she has that right. Keep us updated, but definitely give her some space too.

Update.

Today is my birthday so I decided after over 3 weeks of no contact Ill give it a try and call her for my present to myself. Turns out she changed her phone number at some point and then I checked my facebook and she blocked me again. On my birthday of all days. She sent me a message before blocking me saying that no matter what I did this to myself (which I understand) and that she did nothing wrong to hurt me and I broke my own heart and what I did was unforgiveable. Which doesnt make sense to me but ok. She then said shes done, and goodbye.

Wow I all I did was love her and make a mistake that I said I was sorry for a long time ago and treated her still great. I always treated her with respect and loved her. But I hurt her once and its all over after 5 years. I guess thats it and thats my story.

Anyone think theres much coming back from this? As much as Im not part of her life anymore or have been the last month by her choosing she still works for my family. I like to stop by there for some food often but nowI dont think I can. She hurt me more than she realizes by shutting me out and playing with my heart and telling me she doesnt love me anymore when she actually does. We both dont know what it is to be hurt or hurt someone and I think thats something she doesnt seem to realize how bad she hurt me in return. But thats the way she goes and I guess its time to move on.

I think it's time for you to move on. She clearly does not want you anywhere near her. You broke up with her & she decided that she was better off. And when you were ready to come back into her life, she still decided that she is better off without you. Whether or not she changes her mind is completely up to her and it seems to me that while you don't have to give up hope or change your life (it is fine if you normally go eat somewhere to still do that), you do have to let her go. Otherwise you will look like a stalker. When a girl changes her number and blocks you on Facebook that's not-so subtle. That's a major flag telling you that she does not want you in her life. I hope that when you get over this, you find someone who does want you in her life. :)

My parents owns the restaurant she works at. So we eat their often when family comes to visit. She wasnt working that day so it was fine with me that I go there. When I show up my mom tells me that she has been called in and she will be working shortly. For 2 months all Ive hoped and dreamed for was to just see her and I cant see her like this the way shes being to me. Well Im sweating bullets the entire dinner for her to show up and when she does it was extremely painful. She would not look at me or come anywhere near me. She evetually just hid in the kitchen until I left. Everything she has done to hurt me was done over texts so to see her in person made it all very real and made me see that it really is her doing this to me as much as I dont want to believe it. It completely devistated me and I thought I was starting to get better but just seeing her put me right back at the start. I cant believe after 5 years together she has the nerve to keep doing this bullshit. Especially when things were always good and even the first month of the break up things were still good. Ill never know what happened to her and everyone thinks shes changed a lot and not for the better. She is making a lot of stupid choices and maybe its for the best Im not with this dumb fuck of a person. She used to be very responsible and now shes so stupid... At least that makes me feel better that since the break up Ive done nothing but improve my life rather than waste all my money on stupid shit and put myself into financial ruins like her. She always leaned on me for financial wisdom so it sucks to see she learned nothing after 5 years. She is the dumbest smart person I know.

She just doesn't want to be with you any longer, Yaris. It doesn't make her dumb, or stupid. It just means that she has decided to move on without you in her life. It's time that you do the same. Let go of the bitterness and the anger, let her go mentally, and move forward with your life. It's time.

Update.

We ran into each other 2 days ago at a night club. She just ended up leaving after she saw me. It hurt a lot to see her again so soon. She called me the next day. She didnt like seeing me with other women. We talked for over an hour and it went really well. She admitted to me that she had slept with someone else on January 18th and thats why she coulndnt talk to me and had to avoid me at all cost because of the guilt. I love her to death and can look past this because I want to be with her but it hurt A LOT to hear that. I want to be with her but I have so many mixed emotions from the break up and everything that has happened I dont know what to do. We are talking often and we are trying to stay on good civil terms and be friends again and let happen what happens. Knowing what I know now hurts to see her and talk to her. Im just lost at what to do all over again.

UPDATE

We have been talking non stop for the last 3 weeks. It has been fantastic without any fights and very little drama about the break up. More like sad discussions of it happening but not like actual drama. She has seen a better side of myself that she fell in love with and that has helped my situation a lot. All the time I spend in the gym everyday since the break up didnt hurt either. We decided to see each other and actually spend time with each other for the first time last week. It was just supposed to be a dinner and movie thing at home as friends and nothing else. It didnt turn out that way at all. After a while we ended up snuggling getting really good and close. She loved having my arms around her again. We kissed but it was small and nothing more than one. We didnt watch the movie at all and just held each other getting really deep and passionate looks at each other and kissing but still nothing usually more than a quick one. She was saying that her back was hurting so I gave her a nice back massage that she really enjoyed. She gathered her things and was about to head out the door so we were hugging each other goodbye and gave each other a nice kiss, well it turned into more than that and we just kept holding each other kissing. Luckily the couch is right next to the door so we layed on each other kissing on the couch and made our way to the bedroom. We didnt have sex or anything and thats fine but we just had the most passionate kissing and touching session in our lives and it just happened out of nowhere. She said that she loved me and after 3 months of not hearing that I was soooo happy to hear her say that. The night turned into the most passionate night we ever shared and the most love I have ever felt for her.

Off to a GREAT start but we are not labeling anything right now. She will be coming over for more of the same in a few days and I hope it goes just as well and we share another amazing loving moment together.

Hey,

I'm really glad that things worked out for you. No need to get too detailed when it comes to the "love moment" stuff, wink wink. Take care.