Okay, so my ex and I broke up back in April.  We were still communicating, despite him having a new gf a month after we broke up until about a week and a half ago.  The last 48 hours have been terrible for me. This image of him getting his new gf pregnant keeps popping in my mind. I can't sleep, eat or really socialize with others.  I'm having a very hard time with this and I need some help!  All I want to do is call him just so he can hear my voice and I can hear his. But he refuses to give me his new number and in the past if he did call me he would call from blocked numbers like I'm some crazy stalker person.  I know that he has absolutely no respect for me and hurts me at every corner but STILL all I want to do is talk to him! I know that sounds crazy but when you are used to talking to someone every day for 6 1/2 years it's hard to stop cold turkey.  Please help!

It's been 2 weeks since I stopped talking to my ex.  Everyday hurts just as much as the first.  I understand what you were saying about me sounding like a crazy stalker but I"M NOT CRAZY! I"m just extremely hurt and having a very difficult time with this break up.  I have never given so much of myself to someone and to know that those six years meant nothing to him hurts so much! I know they mean nothing or else he would never be able to just jump into a relationship with someone else! I will not contact him...there's no question about that.  But what I want the most is for this pain to go away!  I've gone out on a couple of dates but all I do is compare them to my ex and they never measure up.   I know I'm probably not emotionally ready to start dating anyone at this point but I need something to take this pain away! Everyday day feels like the day after our break up and it's been almost 5 months since the actual break up! Shouldn't I be over it by now?! I'm not sure what to do at this point.  No contact doesn't seem to be working. Graveling and looking pathetic in front of him only pushes him closer to his girlfriend. And having sex with him only makes me look like a whore in front of him.  I'm not sure what to do! I know he doesn't want me...and probably never will.  I've let go of the fact that we could be together and happy but this pain and my love for him won't seem to leave.  I don't know what to do at this point to feel better.

I'm sure you're not crazy - but love and being desperate for that affection that we used to get can make us do crazy things. This guy sounds like a total loser. I know its hard, but staying in contact with him is only going to prolong the hurt. And when you say "Shouldn't I be over him by now, its been 5 months" - NO! Because you've continued to have contact with him throughout all of this time! Trust me, I'm in the same boat. My ex and I brok up a year ago. A YEAR! But I still haven't moved on because I continue to have contact with him. Even though I know he doesn't want a relationship with me, the crazy part of me keeps holding on. And of course he doesn't make it any better when he's calling me and asking me to hang out. Don't be like me. Don't waste a year of your life on some jerk who doesn't respect you. And if he's having a baby with his girlfriend, it's only going to complicate things further. You don't wanna be another Jerry Springer episode. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to take control of your life back. Tell yourself that talking to him isn't going to make anything better, and being worried and upset about it isn't going to change anything. I feel your pain, and I wish there was a simple way to make it better. But you have to take care of yourself. Each day,  little by little it will start to feel better. But the second you start having contact with him again, you will set yourself back and have to start all over again. You can do it. And before you know it, you will be stronger and happier.

So, it's been about a month since I stopped talking to my ex. I still feel the same.  Still hurting, still in love with him, and still feeling rejected.  The fact that he is in a new relationship still hurts like hell.  I still feel helpless and not in control.  I know they say time heals all wounds but these wounds don't seem to be healing.  I still have the desire to be with him and I'm still totally in love with him.  I really just want these feelings to go away but they won't.  Maybe I should see a therapist?

move on! i know what you feel! but be strong just think of the future next month, next year you can get over him! Be strong! i know it's hard but love yourself and take care!

So here's an update on my situation.  The last time me and my ex spoke over the phone was Sept. 8th.  I told him that I needed at least a month before we spoke again.  Since he only calls me from blocked numbers and the only way I can get in contact with him is through email this wasn't that difficult to execute.  However, everyday was like hell not being able to communicate with him.  On Oct. 9th, exactly a month later, I saw two missed calls from blocked numbers so I assumed it was from him.  I sent him an email and asked him if he had called me.  No response as usual.  So on Monday I sent him an email stating that over the past 30 days I decided that it was best if we had no contact indefinitely.  That I felt like he was using me these past few months since our break up.  Only contacting me for sex and calling me from blocked numbers, and ignoring the messages I send him.  I talked with one of my ex's from high school yesterday who called me out the blue.  I told him the whole story of what went down. Including me cheating on him. And then me seeing text messages on his phone that said he cheated on me with his ex and then confirming that story with his ex. My ex from high school told me that he was sooooo glad we weren't together anymore.  That over the years he had not heard good things about my ex and that someone even said to him a while back "Poor SDC83.  Her bf is a loser and he's cheating on her but she won't listen to anybody."   People have told me in the past that they thought he was cheating on me but no one had any real proof only speculation so I didn't listen.  People told me he was playing me for my money but when your significant other tells u over and over again how much they love you and want to marry you it's hard to believe that they're just using you.  Maybe he wasn't doing it intentionally but now I'm not so sure.  He still claims that he's never cheated on me and that the only reason we broke up was because of my indiscretion.  I don't know what to believe anymore. He's an extremely smooth talker.  I'm truly believing that he used me.  Even though we stayed together a month and a half after I cheated, I feel like he was just using that time to build a relationship with this his new gf who comes from a family of millionaires.  They go on vacations together, stay in the finest hotels, and they just bought a dog together.  It hurts so much.  I don't want to believe that these past 6 years were a lie! But it seems like what my ex from high school said was right.  He just moved on to someone with deeper pockets who can afford to pay for everything and not care because that was such a big issue in our relationship.  I'm not sure how to handle this anymore.  I still love him sooooo much! And to be perfectly honest....I still have the desire to be in a relationship with him.  I'm starting to think I should seek professional help.

Of course it's a lie! Come on, girl. Wake up. If he's cheating on his new perfect girlfriend with you, the he definitely cheated on you. The sad part is that he has been able to get away with it for so long. I completely commend you for letting go for a month, but now it is time to LET GO. Yes, he's with someone else. Yes, he gets to be happy - and he totally doesn't deserve it. But you know who else doesn't deserve it? This poor girl who is dating him while he cheats on her --- with you -- and honestly, who knows who else?  You said he's a smooth talker. Guys like that can generally seem like they have  it all. But karma is a bitch and it'll all come crashing down sooner or later. Let's just  hope that you're waaaay far away from the crash when it happens.

Maybe you do need professional help - that is up to you. I think what you're going through is normal, but you're doing yourself a disservice by not listening to your gut and by not listening to your friends. If your friends think he was cheating - proof or not - and especially if it was multiple times, by multiple people, I think it's time for you to side with them.

The more you write about this guy, the more he sounds like a player who used a smart, kind woman. But now you have some big girl decisions to make. Become a lawyer and meet someone smart, successful and loyal? Or become a lawyer and be the "other woman?"  YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. But you have to also be a good person - which means you can't bust up his new relationship. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. But YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR A BETTER MAN.  Get rid of this stupid kid. Find yourself a man with a JOB and SMARTS and LOYALTY.  Be alone for awhile first. But damn, girl, enough is enough. Don't backtrack after one month of being so strong. I know you can do this. You just have to make the choice to do it. Choose it today. Then take one day at a time.

xoxo

Your story so hit home with me.  I completely understand what you are going through.  Sadly, it feels so good to see that I'm not alone in this situation. My friends and family all think I'm crazy and dont' want to listen anymore.  I was with my ex for three years, we lived together for two.  It was a bad relationship, I know that, but I loved him very much, still do.  Really believed that he was "the one"  He didn't work regularly, was very financial irresponsible, drank too much, and was emotionally distant.  We split up a year ago next week.  Over the last year we have continued to see each other, I truly believed that we could work things out.  Even after I found out three months after we split up that he moved a new girl in with him.  He continued to come over, call, text, etc atleast once a week.  Tell me that he loves me, that she means nothing, but he doesn't know what he wants, he just needs time, etc.  A couple months ago I had a conversation with the new girl.  We exchanged stories and we realized how much he was lying to both of us. Yet she stayed and I still couldnt' let go.  He tells me I need to move on, that he knows hes not good for me, but yet when I say ok or he hears of me having a date he gets upset and says he will never let me go.  Over the last couple months its  gotten to where if I call or text him most times he doesn't respond.  Yet then he'll call or text me and if I don't respond he gets upset.  I've told him several times that we both need to let go and move on, yet it just doesn't work.  I told him again last night that I had to move on, that I couldn't and wouldnt' do this anymore with him.  I have to mean it this time, I have to stick to it!!  So I'm here....looking for support for when he calls or texts me a couple days from now that I have the strength to ignore it and not talk to him.  The no contact should have happened long ago.

Update:

I found out in the first week of November that I passed the bar exam!  I should be happy....and I was...until today.  I posted on FB that I had passed so I know my ex saw.  3 days later he still hadn't called or sent me a message to say congratulations after he knew how hard I worked for this. But today he calls and says congratulations.  He also informs me that he has a new job at AIG doing investments (something i'm sure the new gf hooked up for him) that he will be starting next week. And that he and the gf bought a condo in Miami.  I can't help but wonder if he waited to contact me until everything was going great for him. What sucks is that I had no news other than the bar exam to tell him.  I have no job, still living at home and struggling to maintain.  After 6.5 years he knows me and he can tell that I'm struggling.  I swear it almost seemed as if he was gloating.  :(  It's been almost 4 mths since we last spoke and now he calls.  Of course it's from a blocked number.  I shouldn't care anymore but I do.  I'm still angry and hurt.  Not a day or an hour goes by that I don't think about him.  It sucks so much.  I endured so much from him for 6.5 years!  And here he is off having this great life that he I wanted together with someone else!  It's not fair!

I know my situation is a lot different than yours, but I was with my ex for almost as long (5 1/2 years) and I also kept in contact with him for a couple months after we broke up so I know how difficult it is to suddenly not have someone around who has been such a consistent part of your life for so long. It sucks, there's no easy way around it. Try to focus on your own accomplishments (passing the bar is so huge!), and do things that you like. Is there any activity or hobby you really enjoyed but didn't really do while you were together? Also, I noticed you wrote something earlier about maybe going to see a professional. That was one of the very first things I did, and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone, no matter what they are going thru. One of the things I've realized is that a lot what I was feeling had a deeper root than just the break up. I'm trying everyday to focus on myself and do what it right for me. It is hard, and I don't always succeed, but it feels so much better than constantly worrying about what he is thinking and feeling. Chances are, he's not thinking about you, so don't waste the time and energy thinking about him.

don't answer his calls anymore .. as u said .. he only calls when he has big news to share .. to piss you off basically .. i know it's hard , i mean after being together for 6 years and all .. hell i've been with my ex for 5 to 6 months only and i'm in so much pain cuz we used to do EVERYTHING together .. and now everything i do reminds me of him , IT SUCKS

let's assume that he wanna get back with u now ... what will u say?

can u really trust him after all what he did to u?

can u open up to him as u did b4 knowing that he'll never hurt u again?

i think we both know the answer to that ..

i know how hard it is to have no job and have nothing else to do .. i graduated from uni this year and i'm sitting home having nothing to do .. so i really know what u r going through .. just try to hang out with ur friends , meet new people .. don't sit alone and let urself think about him .. listen to moving on songs .. that's what i'm doing and it's helping a little

i know how u feel, you kep thinking of what you could have done and feel if you told him ro let him know of the improvements you are willing to make he may change his mind, i am like that and every time i just get used and dumped again. i try to be strong but i cant i just need the attention. be strong for both of us