Wednesday day before christmas eve is the day he and i will be meeting up hopefully, i know in my heart i shoudn't but.....yes but....... he won't be back for another year so this will be the only time i'll get to  see him. I don't expect anything like getting back together or hooking up i just want to see him before he goes maybe it's like clousure idk.. honestly idk what i'll get out of this but i hope its something good like letting go easier or see a different side of him that is NOT worth fighting for. I need peace in my heart, mind, body, and soul. If meeting him will do that i'll take that chance but if it's not i guess i'll have to find peace some other way...without him. I know meeting him before he goes is not the right way but i feel like its something i gotta do or something i gotta take a  risk at....i dont wanna wonder what if? what if i did meet him? esp for a year!! I read all your comments saying i shouldnt. I will let you know what happens (if we meet). The reason i say IF is cuz your comments got to me and that's good....thank you! :)