sick and tired
I don't even know where to begin. I have so many intense feelings inside. I'm so tired of letting my ex get the best of me. Okay..well we have been broken up for a year now and he randomly showed up to my house one night. We had broken up because I started getting restless and I wanted to go out more. He's the one that broke up with me though. I was devastated. Okay well we hardly had any contact for a year so I was pretty taken back when he showed up. He said that he had just gotten out of a retreat and he just wanred to see how I was doing. We spoke for a while and then he left. I seriously thought that I wasn't going to talk to him for a long time after that but he called me the very next morning to join him to watch a movie. I went and stupid me slept with him.Okay well it's been about three months now and we still see eachother like 2 times or 3 times a week. I'm being such an idiot. He tells me that he has all these feelings for me but he doesnt know how to deal with them and i'm just there like an idiot. He's a real nice guy but he;s still a GUY. I may be in denial that we aren't getting back together and he's just using me for comfort. I just need to get this off my chect. i feel so anxious all the time. I need to move on but it seems so impossible at the moment. This is really starting to piss me off. I mae things way too easy for him. Where are my balls!? I know he cares about me..just not the way i care about him. Ugh I just feel dumnb. I can't even think straight right now. I need help!
- I think that you need to stand up for yourself and let him know that if he doesn't want a relationship with you, then you can't be with him. It's not like you are asking a lot of him - and it will ease your mind.
Believe me that is hard to do (I've been there), but if you don't say it - then you aren't going to be happy and are going to be stuck in the whole "friends with benefits" scenario. Which I don't think that you want to do. By hanging out with him and sleeping with him, you are giving him what he wants, without having to be in a committed relationship with you. - Hi...I know exactly what you are going through. And I'm really glad to have read your story because I am in a very similar situation as yours. And its comforting to know that I'm not the only one that is going through this. Its really hard to break out of something that is so comfortable. But the truth is that you cant change him. Trust me, I know darn well and I've been chasing this same guy for 4 yrs too...crazy I know...but he still is the love of my life and its really hard to move on. The best advise that I can say is try not to sleep with him anymore. I'm trying my best not to do that...and try to distance yourself and try to go out on dates with other guys. I'm trying to do the same...and I know how hard it is because I keep going back to the ex and its just so hard to move away from him. But the best way I can deal with things is to look at the big picture and the grand scheme of things. Try to focus on what you want in a partner and a boyfriend and how you want to be treated. Not the short term goals and how he makes you feel when you are in the moment. At the end of the day you guys both did share something special and he does care about you, but not in the way that you want him to. And that is the same exact thing as what I'm going through. I'm trying to recognize that its more one sided...and I do love him and he knows that but he has been honest with me and told me he cant give me what I want aka a commitment and make me his girlfriend either.
Be honest with him and tell him how he feels and he probably will be honest with you too. And it might hurt if he says that he can't commit...but sometimes it takes hearing that from him to realize that you really need to break away. Just tell yourself, everytime you want to text or call him or go over...think about how it feels when he cant give you what you want. I hope this advise helps and maybe you can give me advise too. :)
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