Hey may realize it...but maybe not for years!

MJ- you are definately right, and put a lot of things in perspective. I guess because he was the first REAL guy i was able to TRULY be myself with, and open up to (feel comfortable, and beautiful with no makeup, shorts and a t-shirt) it has really it me hard. I do believe that he had feelings for me, he just wasn't ready to commit to me. Of course he would show me attention by taking me places (out to eat) or when he wanted to be intimate. But, I wanted to actually DO things together, and he seemed as if he was excited about this as well, but then would end up doing them with friends instead. I think he tried to be a bachelor type, and a boyfriend at the same time. Which doesn't work. Its funny, because he would bring up marriage, kids, etc...how he would love for me to have his kids, and how i am going to make a great mom someday. That melted my heart. At no point in time did i ever pressure him for a proposal date, or timeline. I am not in a rush. But, you are right, he isn't ready to commit, to me or to anyone else. He is probably using these girls (though it still hurts). Im sure im better off finding someone else who is ready to commit, but im still holding on to that little bit of hope that over time, he will grow up and realize what he let go.

There is NO SUCH THING as just "getting over it" and moving on. You have to cry, analyze, learn and move forward. Then, EVENTUALLY, you get over it.

It sounds like you never were a priority. He served his time. You were there for him. He came back and it was all about him. I understand that he served our country and of course I'm grateful, but that doesn't give him the right to let you put yourself on the proverbial backburner. Yes, going to all his places and hanging out with his friends and family is NECESSARY, but if you feel like he didn't give you any special attention for 3 months straight, well, I would say that is cause for talking to him about it. And his reaction to you (saying you're needy) proves that he's really NOT mature enough for a real relationship.

I don't think it's YOU. People are either ready for relationships or they aren't. It sounds to me, based on your entire timeline, that you instigated everything and you're the reason you got together in the first place. I will venture a guess that you're the reason you got back together over the holidays, too. I'll bet that he didn't lift a finger.

This guy has his own stuff going on and probably isn't ready for a relationship. He tried it and it doesn't work for him (and therefore, it didn't work for you). Sounds like you were frustrated the entire time you were together (in real life) anyhow.

You've known him your entire life, practically, so of course you're hurt. You probably dreamed of the wedding you were going to have and how it would be such a great story to tell people. I get it...it's disappointing when the future you thought of with someone doesn't come to fruition. But it just sounds as if he was never 100% invested. It's not YOU. He just doesn't have the ability to be in a relationship right now. You should be glad that he's not leading you to believe he is.

You feel like crap about the fact that he's talking to other girls because your ego is bruised. But the fact of the matter is that even if he dates one of these girls, or all of them, they'll all end up feeling neglected as long as he's not ready to commit. Hopefully one day he will be ready for a healthy relationship, but it's not today. You'd be better off finding someone who is also ready.

I hope that helped to put things in perspective.

-MJ