Its a really bad night. My ex was supposed to come visit this weekend for Valentines day...we had all these plans. Instead I'm home alone eating ice cream. I don't feel like I'm handling this well. I think about him every other second, my thoughts are surrounding this breakup. I don't understand still why this happened. Everything was going so well.

I swear if I see another online dating site commercial I'm going to puke. My friends all say that I will find someone that deserves me, that will want to commit to a life with me. How can I even begin to think about someone else? I am still completely in love with him. I love everything about him, he was perfect for me. I just don't know how I can move on from this...I know its only been 5 days..but they have been the longest of my life.

I have the hardest time stopping communication with him. It hurts to not have him in my life. How can I just stop talking to my best friend of four years? I don't know what to do with myself. He has said that he will still always be there for me, that I can call him anytime and that He wants me in his life. I don't know how I'm supposed to have him in my life and still be in love with him. I wish I could turn that feeling off, but I can't. I really, really thought he was the one...I still do. I feel like this breakup is a huge mistake...I just wish that he was willing to take a chance on us.

I'm just so sad..I haven't felt so pathetic and low. How can it be over?