I used to think about why my ex never loved me. He said things to hurt me over and over again. I remember looking into his eyes and crying from the pain that I saw. He told me about his past issues with love and all I could do was feel sorry for him. As a matter of fact, I loved him so much that I stayed with him because I felt bad for him. He rarely took me out on dates (I paid for a lot of our dinners). He would say things to me that made me feel terrible even if it was something so small. I used to feel so bad about myself that I was convinced that no other man would want to be with me. There were offers made from guys, but I was scared what my boyfriend would do if I even associated with them. He was my first. My first love, sexual partner, and real relationship in college. He was definitely the "pretty boy" thug type and in college...so I thought I had the best of the best...coming from the hood that is. When he broke up with me because he got a girl pregnant, I wouldn't give up that easily. I pleaded with him because I had hope that he would change into something better. He kept telling me about how the 2 of them will get married and how I may see them out together one day. I thought, what would make someone say such a thing? After everything that I have sacrificed for him why would he reject me still? Later on in life I would eventually learn that he loved me with all that he had. I took some time off from dating, humbled myself before God and learned many things about love. I first learned that God is love. 1 John 4:8 says that whoever does not love, does not know God because God is love. See my ex was heavily into the world and doing worldly things. He did not know God personally. It was very clear that his heart was into pleasing himself and not being there for others. I understood that though, because he was empty himself. I learned that if someone doesn't have love then they are not able to give something that they don't have. It made sense that he never treated me the way that the words I love you expressed. I felt the emotions from his heart but it was broken. It emptied out the painful memories that he had of his past and they were reflected in the way he treated me. He was in pain because he didn't connect to the source (God) that would teach him how to love again. I also learned that it was best that I saw the kind of love that he offers the women that he is with because now I know that if we had gotten married then our marriage would have lead to failure. I thank God for revealing the true concept of love to me.