I'm convinced. The DJ is trying to kill me. I know this because,  his playlist this morning was directly targeted at me. I mean is it not enough that I am stuck in Friday morning gridlock? NO? Oh, OK, sure,  go ahead, PLAY EVERY SINGLE DEPRESSING SONG THAT PERFECTLY DESCRIBES MY LIFE RIGHT NOW FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR YOU PIG!

What did I ever do to him? I've faithfully tuned in every morning for years. I've been loyal even though his traffic reports are full of crap. I've been a good listener and this is what I get. I should call him. I should confront him head on and find out WHY he is so obviously determined to kill me. Should I call him? What if he records it and plays the call on the air? Would anyone recognize my voice? Hmmm..might be a bad idea. If I did call him, how would the conversation go I wonder? Maybe something like this:

*RING*

"K-R-T-R Love Songs On The Krater"

 
"You're trying to to kill me"

"Excuse me?"

 
"You're trying to kill me and all I want to know is why"

"Uh who did you want to talk to?"

 "YOU, I want to talk to YOU, you uncaring pig"

"OK. I think you have the wrong number"

 "OK DUH, you answered the phone K-R-T-R Love Songs On The Krater, so I kinda figured this must be K-R-T-R Love Songs On The Krater, dumb ass "

"Am I being punked?"

 "Well you are definitely acting like a punk, if thats what you mean"

"Who is this?"

 
"I thought we established that already, I am the woman you are trying to kill this morning"

Laughs.."OK I don't know what you are talking about but maybe you should call 9-1-1 or something"

 "I'm talking about the rusty jagged nails you have been driving through my heart for the last 45 minutes you imbecile. Keep up with the conversation"

"OK lady, look, I don't know what you're on right now but I think you should call someone else cause I gotta go"

 
"NO, YOU LOOK FUCK HEAD, take your playlist for today, soak it in kerosene, set fire to it and shove it straight up your ass. Are you feeling me? Find another target to direct your sadistic bullshit at, got it? Don't make me come down there because I will and trust me, if I do, I will shove more than a fiery hot playlist up your ass. You'll be squeaking like a girl for the rest of your pathetic radio career if you still have one once I'm finished with you. Are we understanding each other here? I need know that you are with me on this shithead"

*CLICK*

 "Yea, that's what I thought, chicken shit. You hung up because you KNOW you're busted. Can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen asshole. This is what you get when you play with the big girls"

WOW! I feel so much better! Now that I read this, I'm glad it was only an "IMAGINARY" phone call LOL