It's been a while since I've posted. To be honest I have started writing blogs a few times but every time I write I just end up exing out of the browser. I'm not really sure why? I think I am just really frustrated of still feeling frustrated about my ex. I mean it has been a few months and I still get waves where I miss him like crazy. Things were going really well for a while. We hadn't talked and I was starting to feel really good about life. In the back of my mind I still think about him every once and a while and I'll admit that sometimes I even hope that we will magically end up together. I guess what it really is, is that I am getting to that stage where I need to let go of the hope because if I keep holding on much longer it is not going to be healthy for me.

Another thing I have been thinking about quite a bit lately is that I just have this inkling that he still has feelings for me. I know it is probably just wishful thinking but the way he looks at me when we are in groups and the way he acts just make me feel like a part of him wants to be with me. I don't know why I have this feeling because obviously he doesn't want to be with me otherwise he would say so or try to be with me. I just wish I could get rid of that feeling because I think it would be a lot easier for me to let go. It's almost like I am waiting for him to "come around" knowing fully well that he will not come around. It's painful to think about and even more painful to realize what I am putting myself through. Like I said, it comes in waves and the last couple days have consisted of one really big wave that is a little tougher to shrug off than the others.