I've been so busy lately! I don't do anything "fun" but I've been doing things that make me happy. Keeping my house clean, trying new things with my hair and makeup, and enjoying my little man!

Things have been going quite well... I am learning the value of hard work and how to manage money. Those are things I really needed to learn. Some days I struggle with the bills. I am so used to being able to go to the store and buy whatever I want, or going out to eat or buying little man toys... It's hard learning how to save money and figure out how much you can spend on groceries and material things. I can't believe I'm almost 24 and I am just now learning this! I'm learning about me too, and it's a great feeling!

I'll be honest. I do talk to W. It's always on my terms, and if he says anything that upsets me at all, I turn my phone off. I do realize that W did some horrible things to me and most people feel that I shouldn't be talking to him. The ball is in my court now. I make all the decisions and for once, I am in control. So, we text eachother a few times a day. The conversations have covered everything. He tells me how sorry he is, how he is getting help. He told me he finally accepted the fact that he was an alcoholic and that he couldn't drink to have fun, he had to drink to get drunk. He tells me about his sponsor and how often they talk to eachother. He told me that when people offer him alcohol, he says no and leaves the area and calls his sponsor. He tells me about his anger classes and how he is learning to control himself. One day, I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, (I was in a b++++ mood.) and I turned my phone off, and I turned it back on a few hours later, and I had so many messages from him begging me to tell him what was wrong and to please talk to him. The W I knew would have said whatever and that would've been the end of it. I know that these are just words and actions speak louder that words, but I shocked at how different he is acting. This is NOT the W that I used to know. I've talked to a few people about it and they all think that he may be able to change for the better. I am not sure at this point. I do enjoy the conversations because he is sober and we are able to talk about the hard things... things we never talked about while we were together. I never knew how he truly felt because he always kept everything bottled up. Sooooo..... yeah. He's still got a long way to go, and I truly hope he makes it. I think that he is learning a lot more right now then he would be if he was in jail. His mom (as much as I cannot stand her) is keeping a tight rein on him... Of course, if she would have done that while he was a teenager, this situation may not have happened. But everything happens for a reason and I live by that saying!

I'm just living life day by day... At work, I set my $$$ goals low that way I can be surprised when I count my tips. I clocked in at 11 today and got off at 1:30 and I made $50. Most days, I average $18 to $22 an hour... I think that's pretty good!

Little man is in the terrible two's and it's frustrating! He's also got pink eye so he is in a VERY bad mood lately... and lets not even get started on how hard it is to put eye drops on a 2 year olds eyes!!!! I get up at 7am take little man to daycare and then come home get ready for work, go to work, come home and stay up til about 1 am... I def. need to start getting more sleep!!

A quote I saw today that made me think : "One of the hardest things to decide, is how many chances someone deserves." Hmmmmm...........