So this is my second break up with this guy. The first time was really out of nowhere. I was blindsided and devastated. This time I wasn't blindsided. I had been contemplating breaking up too. It just wasn't working. He wasn't being himself; more aloof than usual, and just being a jerk too. His bad habit of pot-smoking was also really interfering in our relationship, since i am not a pot smoker and just can't identify or really understand that lifestyle choice. 

     It was my 30th birthday.We were suppose to go to Puerto Rico. There was a huge snow storm coming. I called him to try to get him to agree to change our flight to an earlier departure date. He was too high to think and give me a proper response. By the time he did, all the flights had been booked, and our flight cancelled. In his favor, he did plan a weekend trip to NYC, which was great. But then on the day of my actual birthday: He had told me not to make any plans, we were going to go out to dinner. He calls in the middle of the day and tells me he has to cancel. He wont be home in time. Who in the hell does that?!!!!! I didn't want to spend the day of my actual birthday alone, so I called my best friend and she got a group together. We went out for dinner and she got me a cake. It was sweet. When he finally called me to come over he did have flowers and cupcakes. But I was still angry. Angry at him for not planning my 30th BIRTHDAY better. For putting me second and making me feel shitty. And to top it off he was high...

     I had just hoped that in time I could see a change in him. I wanted so bad to be with him. I excused so many things. Well he's tired, he's had a hard day, he had a rough time with his parents divorce, he got made fun of as a kid, he's just high, he's just drunk... I need to stop making excuses. Shit happens all the time to everyone! It doesn't give anyone the right to treat someone else like shit. It just doesn't. Stop blaming other people for your actions, YOU control them. You decide how your going to treat the people in your life that love you...

Since our break-up people have been showing so much concern and support. Every day I realize how amazing the people around me are. How much they love and care about me. Not only do they tell me, but they SHOW me. And frankly, he doesn't even come close.