Call me crazy, heartless and stupid but all I can say is, I love him but I don't want him to be my boyfriend.

People change...and I am changing fast that I could not even handle myself. It has been a trend that every time I fall in love, there has always been a time factor.

Today I'm in love....tomorrow I'm not. Since I've been trough few relationships, even if how long and how deep the foundation we have. I always get tired and bored. The result is of course...instant break up.

So to avoid this trend, I made a pact... I would avoid labeling as in the case, boyfriend girlfriend. I prefer not be involved in that kind. I want to be with a person but not to be his girl...but to be someone who loves him more than the label as girlfriend.

Right now, I do love a guy and we both know the feeling is mutual. I did take the initiative to make him realized that i do feel the same way.... I want him to admit that he feels what I am feeling. He did...but after that, I did not know what to do. He wanted to be my boyfriend but I just could not. 

I want him to be mine...but not for too long.If he'll be m boyfriend, we are open to the possibility that our relationship will end. I do know it will after three months since I always get tired. I want to protect him from me. I told him that I can't be his girlfriend but it does not mean I don't love him....Plus I know for sure my parents would not want him since they really like my ex so much. I think my freedom is only limited to having casual flings since I know for sure I would marry my ex someday. Not because I love him but because he has the lesser complications. 

Just can't think straight right now....