I really probably should delete F from my facebook, so I won't be so tempted to check it all the time. I really do think that I'm better off without the uncertainity in my life and that if he really cared about me we would be together right now. But I can't help but to think that maybe I was a little rash in everything because I really think that he joined the dating site again - I don't know if it was because his friend found me and definitely told him that I was back on the site.

So I'm wondering if I rushed into getting back on the site. But like, logically, I'm telling myself that if F wanted me - he would have said something and would have been happy when I mentioned the fact that I wanted a relationship. After talking to a bunch of people about the whole thing - including guys - I wasn't rushing into anything. So I know that logically. But I really can't help but to miss him and what we shared.

And I do feel stupid for even bringing this up again, because I know that I'm better off without him. But I just wish that he showed that he cared a little bit and that I wasn't so easy to throw away. Because I really do think that I am a good "catch." I have a lot going for me, I'm a good person, I care about my friends, and I pretty much did everything for him. I picked him and his friend up from the train station when he needed a ride, I took care of him when he was a sloppy drunk, and I've put myself in awkward situations with his friends where he didn't even introduce me to them properly just because I thought that he liked and cared about me. But I guess that it was all fake.

So yea, deleting him from my phone and not contacting him via text messages isn't enough. I probably need to unfriend him on facebook so I'm not attached to him anymore.