The morning after I came across the pictures I texted Kevin saying I wasn't mad, especially because I knew we weren't exclusive at the time, but wanted to know if he had hooked up with any girls that night. To be honest, part of the reason I wanted to know is because we were having sex without condoms (I'm on birth control) and I was worried about the possibility of contracting something.

And he texted me back: "No of course I didnt hun...I know we weren't exclusive then but I wanted to be so trust me I didn't hook up with anyone." Then I thanked him for being honest and he replied "Of course hun, no problem, you don't ever have to feel weird asking me about that stuff."

I thought that was a pretty solid response, I felt much better after talking to him about it. Later that night I went over to his house to watch a movie and sleep over. He brought up the whole facebook/pictures thing and asked if I had hooked up with anyone before we became official and I said I hadn't, the only thing that happened was my friend Dave asked to hangout so we walked down by the beach, got some food (I paid for my own meal), and he confessed he liked me but I said I had just started seeing someone at the time.

Kevin got kind of upset (I don't really know why, I guess it's just the thought of me hanging out with another guy who likes me). Then out of the blue he asked if I thought it was wrong to sleep in the same bed with a friend of the opposite sex even if you didn't hook up. I said, yes because 9 times out of 10 sleeping in the same bed is connotated as "sexual" and cuddling/being physically close to the other person is likely to happen. I then asked if he slept in the same bed as the birthday girl from that night in August. He simply said "no." (Her name is Lauren, by the way. Also keep in mind Kevin and Lauren have had sex before). 

Then about 10 minutes later he confessed that he had slept in the same bed as her that night and just lied about it because he didn't want to hurt me. He swears they didn't cuddle or kiss and he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt when they went to bed.

I don't know how someone couldn't feel a little hurt by that. He chose to keep it from me throughout our entire relationship and then flat-out lied to me when I asked him about it. That's what hurts the most...that he lied to me. If sleeping in the same bed with your friend isn't a big deal...then why lie about it?

He also admitted that last weekend when he went home for the funeral Lauren gave him a ride home and said "This is really awkward...but I'm sure your girlfriend, Courtney, is a really nice girl and all...but you're going to date me when you guys break-up right?" He said he simply replied with "I'm not going to answer that, I love Courtney and I plan on being with her for a long time."

I swear to God that Lauren girl is toxic. I absolutely hate her. She knew Kevin had just started seeing me in August but continued to grope him and ask him to sleep in the same bed with her anyway...then a couple months later when she saw Kevin she was (joking?) saying "Kevin, you know we're going to get married someday and have sex like every morning and night and bla bla bla..." and now all this shit about "you're going to date me when you two break-up right?"

If she says one more thing, I'm contacting her myself. Why should the girlfriend sit back quietly and let this all happen? Why should I put up with someone who's trying to wedge herself inbetween my relationship with Kevin? Being quiet and nice has gotten me no where. Next time I'll stand up for myself. I think I'll say something like:

This is Kevin's girlfriend, Courtney. I don't like what you're saying to him when I'm not around, it's rude and disrespectful. Have some respect for my relationship and stay out of it.

It's clear, conscise, and to the point. I'm not going to spout out swear words or call her demeaning names (that's what this personal blog is for, ha)...I'm going to try to communicate my feelings in an adult way.

With that being said....that mother-f*%&$^& stupid wh*$* dumb b*$^@ sl*^ can go f*$& herself. (My attempt at humor lol).

With that beind said, I'm trying to decide where to go from here. I think all I can do is accept the past and move on. I'm not going to worry about Lauren unless she texts, calls, or happens to see Kevin and say something vulgar again. I'm going to forgive Kevin for lying to me. He apologized multiple times and we both agreed not to keep things from eachother. That's all I can do right? On the brightside...this all happened 7 months ago and hasn't been an issue until recently...so it's worth letting go. I just pray nothing like this happens again. I'm tired of this relationship causing so much heart-ache. Relationships are suppose to make you feel good, you shouldn't have to work so hard at happiness. It should just come naturally. Things have been much better since the break-up with how we've been communicationg...we've had many more good days than bad. So I'm just going to be happy, enjoy my relationship with Kevin, and quit worrying.