 |
 |
 |
|
Subscribe
|
|
 |
|
 |
07.06.2010 (710 Days Ago)
">GET OVER IT!!!...a rollarcoaster ride of the up's and downs as i go through the process of "getting over it"... ">
GET OVER IT!!!
Just as i began to see the light, and things were looking a bit brighter, i come home from work and find a box. A simple box. I have sent many of these standard shipping rate boxes overseas over the past two years when my ex was deployed..but this is different, this was sent to me. Although i knew what it was, and knew it was coming (I asked for it) I began to tear up as I cut the clear packaging tape. The contents inside were simple toiletries. But these remained at my ex's house. I asked him to return them, but as I began to open the box, I realized it hurt a lot more than I thought it would. Its over. Its really over. He has moved on...and stupid me is still being bothered by this. I am sure he is out making out with girls, talking to other people trying to forget about stupid me...Im nothing to him. I question whether or not I ever meant anything. Was i simply used for sex prior to deployment? A person comfort him while he is away, and someone to welcome him home with open arms (and legs) when he arrived back in the U.S.? Was that all that i was to him? Was all that talk about marriage, kids, a future just smoke he blew out of his ass to make himself feel less guilty for taking advantage of me? or did he really mean it? any of it. I want to have faith and believe that people are good. But it seems as if faith isn't good enough any more.
-
loriok wrote 705 Days Ago (neutral) 0I've been through something similar. Even when you tell yourself you're ready and even if you're expecting your things back, it hurts so much when they actually follow through. It would feel so much better if they had as much trouble sending it as you did receiving it.
It's easy at these times to think the worst of him and his feelings for you. It's easy to guess at what they're doing, wonder if you meant anything at all to them, assume they're seeing someone else (or several someone elses). It hurts to think you didn't mean as much as you thought you did.
I've learned that it isn't as easy for them as it appears. My ex did tell me how much he wanted to keep my things just to cling to the notion it wasn't over. He would never have kept them, well, because they weren't his to keep, but he wanted to keep them.
Although I don't know your ex, but if you were as supportive as you seem to have been, he would never forget that aspect of your relationship especially if he is in a difficult situation in general.
I used to come home at night and hope there would be a note or a letter...something that would let me know that he was thinking about me as much as I thought about him. That never happened, but I did find out in the end that all the negative worries and thoughts were not true.
I just wanted you to know I've wandered down similar thought paths and that definitely sympatize with you and the hurting...0 points
-
majorette wrote 708 Days Ago (neutral) 0I don't have a ton to say, but I feel ya girl. I do not evn want to know what he is doing and I can't imagine knowing like you do. It must hurt a lot. :(0 points
|
Powered by Dolphin - Free Community Software
from BoonEx - Social, Online Dating and Community Software Experts
|
|