Just as i began to see the light, and things were looking a bit brighter, i come home from work and find a box.  A simple box.  I have sent many of these standard shipping rate boxes overseas over the past two years when my ex was deployed..but this is different, this was sent to me. Although i knew what it was, and knew it was coming (I asked for it)  I began to tear up as I cut the clear packaging tape.  The contents inside were simple toiletries. But these remained at my ex's house.  I asked him to return them, but as I began to open the box, I realized it hurt a lot more than I thought it would.  Its over.  Its really over.  He has moved on...and stupid me is still being bothered by this.  I am sure he is out making out with girls, talking to other people trying to forget about stupid me...Im nothing to him.  I question whether or not I ever meant anything.  Was i simply used for sex prior to deployment?  A person comfort him while he is away, and someone to welcome him home with open arms (and legs) when he arrived back in the U.S.? Was that all that i was to him?  Was all that talk about marriage, kids, a future just smoke he blew out of his ass to make himself feel less guilty for taking advantage of me? or did he really mean it? any of it. I want to have faith and believe that people are good.  But it seems as if faith isn't good enough any more.